Neither here nor there

Our last month in the United States is flying by at a breakneck pace. I had all these ideas of topics to blog about, but I am not finding the time to write. There are our day jobs. And since the kids hate to sleep these days, there are also our night jobs. And then, you almost feel gluttonous for using the fringe hours (minutes?) to blog over listing furniture on Craigslist and sorting through stacks of papers.

Or scheduling a last dinner with friends.
Or deciding if we will bring the Chinese five-spice.
Or figuring out which washing machine we need to purchase.


The details and decisions are overwhelming. My skin breaks out just thinking about it all. But we’ll get there.

We’re almost halfway through the month and we’re straddling worlds big time. How does one heart handle sitting in the pain of loss and acknowledging the burgeoning excitement of what’s next?

For the sake of my own mental health, I’d really like to bypass that ugly no man’s land called “we’re checked out but not yet checked in”. If I had to take a pulse, I’d say we’re still intensely checked in at this point in time. We’re enjoying so many precious meetings with friends. If anything, the skyscraper highs that we wouldn’t normally experience in one month are a little destabilizing. Because, how do you go from the sense of being surrounded by such a loving community to starting all over again?

And then, I override the feelings of doubt and return to faithfully packing a small box of hope. And when I look over, I see my husband’s eyes glisten and I can’t peel the smile off my face. We’re dreaming again. We’re on an adventure together, plunging into many unknowns and it feels so good. So right.

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