New Eyes for an Old Home: Adult Third Culture Kids

“I am sure you’ll be so thankful to be back home in your country” wrote my friend in a farewell card as all the cogs were in motion for us to leave the United States for our long considered move to France. Lavishly, empathy was extended to my husband for all the struggle he was about to face given a new language and culture. Thoughts were really kind and genuine. But, it was with a lump in my throat that I set the card aside and kept my anxious mind distracted, packing a box of kitchen items. In that moment, it was just too much to think about coping both with the grief and loss of all my bearings of this life we’d finally established in the U.S. over the past six years, on top of the grief of still being misunderstood by those closest to me.

Haven’t my friends understood me by now? No, in fact, it is terrifying to be uprooting our little family of five. It’s terrifying to live under the pressure of my old host culture needing to feel like home. And, it’s terrifying to be the main person carrying the weight of responsibility of an international move for my whole family.

[Click to continue reading more of my guest post on the Multicultural Kid Blogs website]

8 thoughts on “New Eyes for an Old Home: Adult Third Culture Kids

  1. Hiya,
    I was put in the same situation nearly three years ago but pregnant and alone. People just don’t understand that even though this is my birth country, it’s not my home here in uk. My home is in arabia where I spent 30 years from an infant and into adulthood then having my own bi racial kids. I can’t stand the lack of cultural acceptance here towards anyone who doesn’t do their drinking partying and drugs. My mother is in denial about me not being happy here because she had a childhood here and liked it. It feels like a damned battle against everyone on a daily basis.
    I’m hoping ypu and your family are feeling just a small bit of happiness.
    Best regards
    Another 3rd culture Mama.

    1. Thanks so much for your perspective here, QF. It’s hard when even your own parents don’t fully get it. We’ve come to find lots of beauty in thinking of our family as a safe place to create our own identity – taking the best of cultures we know. Maybe exploring that idea might give you some more breathing room..

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